"When I can't even finish my own goddamn story."
2. Act flirty to get their way
"I do not believe for a moment that you find me even vaguely attractive, yet you're smiling at me and pressing your boob against my arm while you ask me to do something that I just politely told you isn't going to happen."
3. Post passive aggressive quotes/lyrics on social media
"This is such a huge red flag to me, if you have this in your dating profile I'll move right along and save us both the trouble."
4. Play dumb on purpose
"A lot of guys tell me they like dating women who they can teach and explain things to and who are really impressed by how smart they are. I think some women try to use that to their advantage."
5. Kiss and tell
"Women go into detail. Men are like, 'so did you two bang last night?' 'Yea, where's the rocket launcher? I need it for this level."
6. Screech when they see a friend
"It's like the hunting cry of a pterodactyl."
7. Keep money/cards in their bras
"Why some women think this is okay behavior, I don't know. If a guy tried to pull some money out from his crotch covered in ball sweat people would lose their shit."
8. Threaten the guy if he hurts their friend.
"The first time I met my girlfriend's work friends, the first words one of them said to me were, 'you break her heart and I break your penis,' then she hugged me, squealed and laughed, thinking it was the funniest thing in the world. I didn't hug back."
9. Make a poor first impression.
"When certain girls (and guys) do that limp handshake that's like a dead fish."
"They know they leave bronzer stains on clothes but they still apply even more the next day. Throw in the duck face pose, it's game over."
11. Make guys jealous if they like them
"All my female friends have admitted to doing this, and I just can not wrap my head around it."
12. Say nothing is wrong when it is.
Are you sure?
I can’t believe you didn’t care about how I felt!”
13. Invite men places then ignore them.
"Oh my f*cking god I had a girl do this to me once. Like wtf? I thought you wanted to hang out? I couldn't care less about these people."
14. Introduce a gay friend as "a gay friend".
"As a gay guy, when I'm treated like a pet cause they need their token gay friend. It's the primary reason I don't get along with many women."
15. Fish for compliments.
“Me: ‘You look nice today.’
Her: ‘Do I not look nice other days??’
16. Specifically fish for compliments on social media.
"UGHHHH. When they hash tag their own photos with #fat #uglyface, etc. STOP. You wouldn't put the photo up if you didn't think you looked decent enough to put it on social media."
17. Morph into their boyfriends.
Specifically act like total enthusiasts of whatever their current SO does- "It's like when you hold a microphone up too close to the speakers.
18. Shave their eyebrows then draw them back on.
"Today I'm feeling angry' *draws angry eyebrows*"
19. Babytalk, especially during intimate moments.
"It's not cute, it just makes me feel like I'm trying to get in the panties of a 3 year old trapped in the wrong body."
20. Assume every guy wants them.
“Assume you’re after her when you just want to finish your group project and need the details, she says ‘I have a boyfriend.’
GTFO OF HERE!”
21. Wear too much strong-smelling perfume.
"Some of my students wear such strong perfume that when I come home I smell like them just because I've been sat near them for half an hour or so. I know I do, and my wife, the trooper that she is, says nothing about it. I've actually considered mentioning it to the students but I think it would be inappropriate."
22. Say "almost all of my friends are guys."
"This does not impress me, I don't know why, but it's more of a turn-off actually."
23. Talk about their ex.
"Good or bad, I don't really care to hear about him either way."
24. Say "I don't care where we eat" even though they do.
"Ask a girl which restaurant she wants to eat at and she responds by saying she doesn't care. Then she proceeds to complain about EVERY FUCKING ONE OF MY SUGGESTIONS."
25. Be "That Girl" that takes the men's side on the most ridiculous stuff.
"I found it incredibly unattractive, but she seemed to think it was a good and attractive thing? Maybe it is to some guys. I really saw it as her kind of wanting to worship a man. Tinder is a weird place sometimes."